A Bloodless Trail - ongoing work “He who sees cannot possess the visible unless he is possessed by it, unless he is of it.” Maurice Merleau-Ponty
I have come to understand that my compulsion to repeatedly step in front of the camera stems from a fundamental longing to be truly seen and known by another. In tandem with this desire I also strive to wholly see myself, to fix an identity that I'm confident is the “I” that is me, and no other. Yet, I'm finding that self-portraiture is a very strange and slippery animal: to make of oneself an object in order to be a subject so that one can be seen gives the authority and power to answer the question of identity to the viewer, any viewer, of the photograph. The fact that I am also a viewer, as well as the photographer and director, puts me in the very disquieting position of being “other” to myself while at the same time being “I”, thus each photograph - and each view of it - seems to be both the birth and death of the identity I am seeking.
